Calm

Alright, my last post was an angry rant. Cuz I was angry. I hope no-one got offended. I know I normally don't swear that much. :S

Anyway, don't get too concerned guys. It's not that serious, I guess. I mean, it's probably a little petit of me. Meh, I'm a teenager, right? Why should I always have to rationalize and be mature? I should be allowed to get unreasonably shitty once in a while.

Oh, man, Heart of Gold by Neil Young is a sad song. It always makes me feel sad...okay, it's finished. No! That's not a happy song either (Time of Your Life, Green Day)! I'll have to find a happy song now...hold on...
There we go. Supersonic by Oasis. Well, it's not exactly happy as such, but it's loud and makes me sing so it's good. :D

"MY FRIEND SAAAID HE'D TAAAAKE YOU HOOOOME!! HE SITS IN A COOORNER AAALL AAAALONE!! HE LIVES UNDER A WAAATERFAAALL!! NOBODY CAN SEE HIM, NOBODY CAN EVER HEAR HIM CALL!! NOBODY CAN EVER HEAR HIM CAAAAALL!!"

I actually am singing. And I realised when writing those words that it's not really a happy song at all. Oh well, it's sooper dooper loud and awesome!

I finished Hamlet this morning. I've read it twice now. I'm a genie-i (as Leone would say)! Now I've got to read Doctor Zhivago, which my mum says is good. It looks good.
Apparantly Trainspotting is in the public library, so I don't have to buy it to read it yay. Err, however, I better not get it out when Mum or Dad are there, they probably wouldn't approve of me reading it. >.<

Um...yesterday all I did was type up like half a page of Part 2 of Like Father, Like Son. Well, that's not all I did, but it was all I did that I meant to do, if that makes sense. So today I'll have to knuckle down. I suppose my Drama research assignment takes priority, but I also have to finish typing LFLS.pt2, and (hopefully) finsih writing my CM fic. To finally finish that would be a weight off my chest!! I've been writing it since last year, and my last post was about a month ago. I've been somewhat slack. Thank God it's a Teacher Only Day tomorrow!! I really need it.

I did watch the season 1 finale of Sons of Anarchy yesterday. Holy crap, I didn't expect any of that. I certainly did not expect Hale to tell Jax about his suspicions. He's not too bad of a guy, I suppose. Better that Stahl, anyway. God she's a bitch! And she thinks that Bobby will give her sympathy when she tells him what happened to Donna?? It was her fault in the first place!! I reckon what Jax did was pretty stupid, honestly, he should have kept it close to the vest and bided his time with Tig. Because now Tig will tell Clay, and Clay will get angry, and it'll end up as Clay versus Jax. Not good. But he was angry, I guess, I mean Donna was Opie's wife, and Opie is like Jax's brother. Plus Tig was about to put a bullet in that girl's head. What Jax did was smart, though, to save her. I mean, she won't tell anyone what she saw now, she's way too scared. It was interesting though how Jax was like, "We don't kill women" to Tig before saving her. He was talking about Donna, so I guess he wants Tig to know that he knows it was him who killed Donna.
And none of you have any idea what I'm ranting about. Because you don't watch SoA! Your loss, jeez. Stupid NZ TV networks, it's their fault!! :O

Looking foward to the trip to Wellington tomorrow. I had a dream last night that I missed the bus, and I woke up thankful that it was only a dream, because it will be a good time, I reckon.

I'm so glad that all my subjects this year are good. I've even managed to get a good Maths teacher! History and Drama are my favourites though, at least at the moment. The Russian Revolution is VERY interesting (to a nerd like me, yeah I know) and Drama's just fun. Although it's rather sad watching Renee Donovan trying to do Commedia. Not to be mean or anything, but honestly, WTF is she doing in Drama??

Look at mah twertles!! And my bloggie froggie. xD They're cooool, if I do say so myself.

So...that's about it.

Today's Quote: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." -Winston Churchill

Fuck You, I Don't Care

Fuck you.
I seriously do not fucking care. Honestly. I really really don't give a fuck anymore. I did, because who wouldn't, but I don't anymore. I'm OVER IT and I can't WAIT till it's just me.
Fuck you.
I don't want any more of your fake sympathy because you have no fucking idea. I know for a fact that you won't remember me because who would in that situation? I'd be worse, if it was me. But it never had a chance of being me because that's just the way it is and in this world some people are just fucking better than others, and don't ever let anyone tell me we're all the same. Because no fucking way are we.
Fuck you.
No, seriously, go have fun. Because you deserve it. Oh, sure. And I don't?? I deserve it just as much as any of you fuckers, probably more than most of you. Just don't fucking tell me about it because I don't wanna hear. Yeah, because if I hear, I will care. I'll admit that. But I don't wanna know how much FUN you're all having without me, I don't WANNA hear the funny joke you cracked while going a million miles an hour. Because I don't care, and I don't fucking WANT TO.
Fuck you.
You know, when you all stop fucking talking about it it's almost as if you don't care either. But then it pops up and everyone remembers and you're all so pleased with yourselves, yeah because you're awesome and I'm not. You know what I just realised? You're not even bothering with the false sympathy any more, those who had it to start with. Some of you didn't even bother to fucking fake it. It's cool though, because I hated the phony bullshit you were talking about how it'd happen for me one day, all that shit, you knew it was crap but you spat it out anyway. Fucking thank you.
Fuck you. Fuck ALL of you. Go fucking have fun and don't give a fuck about me, because I won't give a fuck about you.

You want a quote to go out on? Here's one. Go fuck yourself.
Or something more eloquent, from the fucking smartest of all you fuckers?? Fine.

Today's Quote: "Let Hercules himself do what he may / The cat will mew, and dog will have his day." -William Shakespeare (Hamlet, act 5 scene 1)

I'm Really Bad Of Thinking Of Titles For My Bloggie

"I don't need zest! I need you outta my lampshade!!"
I wish I had a slide whistle.
I love SpongeBob. Haha.

So I was concerned about killing my back in Drama, right? Well turns out it's not my back I should be worried about. It's my stomach!! By the end of Drama today, my stomach muscles were KILLING me. Weird. I need to get an AbKing Pro. Maybe if I had some abs it wouldn't hurt. Haha. Me. With abs. Funny concept.

Joel had to go to hospital today to have his appendix out. He's still there now, Mum and Dad are with him. It's weird, yesterday he was fine. He's feeling groggy apparently, but he'll be okay. He has to stay at hospital until Wednesday at least though. Poor little guy.

I have a headache! Not cool.

Oop! Mum just arrived home. I'd better go see what's up...

*goes upstairs for awhile*

Okay, Junior J Man's fine. Still a bit out of it from the anaesthetic, but okay.

Huh, I was gonna watch an episode of SoA, but I don't think I can be bothered loading it...I'm up to the last epiode of season 1. Veeeery intense. POOR OPIE!! Well, poor Donna too, I guess, seeing as she's the one who's dead, but poor Opie, because he'd just gotten his marriage sorted out and then Tig goes and KILLS HER. Dick. Hopefully Jax finds out and, like, I dunno, does something violent to him. Jax kinda looks like Heath Ledger, but crossed with...I can't think who, but someone blond.

I hate it when people think they can tell other people what to do. I really, really, REALLY do. It drives me INSANE.
I mean, seriously. Seig heil.

Today's Quote: "What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." -Bob Dylan

Sore Back!!

I have a sore back.
Sitting down gives me a sore back. Is that weird? I think it is. But I have a screwy back. I have a mix between scoliosis and a very small humpback!! I'm going to see the doctor sometime to see what exactly is up. I always look slumped even when I'm standing/sitting straight. Very annoying.

Huh. I'm pissed at the fact that my brother gets to go to Christchurch to stay with my cousin in April. My cousin Steph is one of the people I am closest to on the planet. I've known her my whole life, we're six months apart, I don't get to see her nearly enough and I don't know why my little brother should go to stay with her instead of me. It is NOT FAIR.

I don't really have anything much to say. I will share some things, because I feel like it so nyah.

Here is my Top 25 Most Played Songs. Because you may (or may not) find it interesting.

Animal Nitrate - Suede
Malibu - Hole
Pacifier - Shihad
Buddy Holly - Weezer
Zombie - The Cranberries
All is Love - Karen O and the Kids
Bad Luck - Royal City
Garbadge Man - Hole (and no, that's not spelt wrong, it's deliberate)
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring
Undisclosed Desires - Muse
The Holiday Song - Pixies
Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan
London Calling - The Clash
There's a Hole in My Heart - Royal City
Focus - Annah Mac
Rape Me - Nirvana
Savior - Rise Against
All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
Spacy Basement - Royal City
Shutterbug - Veruca Salt
Boys on the Radio - Hole
Heart of Gold - Neil Young
I Am A Raw Youth - Royal City
Superstar - Sonic Youth

That's a pretty good representation of my music. It's pretty much a list of my favourite songs, but some don't belong and some are missed.

I, personally, love The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger. I know a lot of people hate it. My mum said when I got it, 'Why are you reading that? It's rubbish.' My nan (who bought it for me, at my request, for Christmas) was very surprised that I liked it. I got the impression that Rose didn't think much of it, either. But I loved it. And although I'm not a guy, a particularly disillusioned or rebellious teenager, or someone living in 1950s New York, there was a lot in there that I connected with. Y'know, a lot of stuff that made me go, 'Yeah, I get that!' There was one thing in particular that I really understood/felt, but I'm not sharing that because it's pretty intensely personal. Well, to me it is. A lot of people post some pretty deep shit on their bloggie, but I don't because I kinda feel like it's not neccessary. Suffice it to say that this thing was about Holden's hat. Oh yeah, now you're all sooper dooper confused. 'His hat, Jess, WTF?' Salinger died recently and I thought that was kinda sad, how he wrote one book, then practically became a hermit. He was like 92 though, so I guess he did well.
Um, anywho, the reason I started talking about this was to post this - one of the bits of the book that really got to me was this paragraph. I even copied it into my journal. I do that sometimes, if something really clicks with me and I want to remember it. It's probably the most famous bit of the book (apart from the thing about phonies, which I also got) and it explains the title. And I'm going to share it with you now.

"I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around — nobody big, I mean — except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff — I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."

It's metaphorical, guys, before you start tellimg me you're confused.

Ta for now.

Today's Quote: "In a real sense, people who have read good literature have lived more than people who cannot or will not read. It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish." -S. I. Hayakawa

Itchies. Itchy Ichies. They're Crawling Everywhere, Those Itchies. SMACK 'EM!!

ITCHY!!!!!!

I am seriously soooo itchy!!!

It is supremely uncool.

Stupid mosquito that ate me while I was doing my Drama homework.
Speaking of Drama, I've been trawling the net for stuff on Brighella. There's not a lot, nowhere near as much as for Arlecchino or Pantalone or them, but there is some and from what I've read I'm pretty sure I won't change my mind. He is awesome. To sum him up in one word, I'd pick slimeball. If you don't consider that slimeball is one word (slime ball, slime-ball etc) then my second word it dodgy. I will quite possibly break my back playing him, but I shall play him nonetheless.

Okay, turns out that Signs is only funny when it's not dark. When it is dark, it's freaky. Especially the Brazillian video footage. With the music! And the alien! And the camoflage! And that guy's demented lip!! Seriously, that distracted me the whole time. I dunno how I missed it before. But...what happened to the pool scene?? I distinctly remember it! And I'm not imagining things, because Jessica remembered it too. And...what the hell was with the cookie-cutter holes in the door near the end?? Did the aliens have moon and star shaped laser beams or something? Weird.

Had a good time last night. Had some lols, as they say. Tonight I have cheesecake!! So I'm happyyy. :D

Iz, you owe me $2.

I feel really good at the mo because I got another page and a half done on Family Portrait. And I'm liking how it's going. Hopefully by next week I'll have FINALLY finished it!! People have been waiting for ageees, I know. My bad.

In the library today I found Doctor Zhivago which I've been wanting to read for awhile. Yay! It's 467 pages long, so it'll keep me going for awhile. I'll need to do a 12905 on it. But - when I got home from Keryn's this morning, I discoverered that my copy of Hamlet was MISSING from my bedside table! Gasp! I seriously have no clue where it is. Lots of stuff in my room was moved around slightly, so SOMEONE had been in there...I'm looking at you, Rachel...

What's up with pur group at school atm?? Seriously. Everybod's pissed off at someone else. I honestly hope no-one's pissed at me; I'm not pissed at anybody and I can't think what I might have done to anyone to piss them off. It's probably this whole big bitch that I nkow nothing about. I don't know half of the shit that happens in our group. I've been part of the group for a while now - well I consider myself part of the group, I hope that's not presumptuous - but I'm still in the outer orbit, I never know the intricacies of what's going on. 'That's cuz it's not your business', I hear you cry. Well, secrets sink a ship and everyone else seems to have the lowdown. I dunno. Maybe you guys are all nobility and people like me and Jessica are just serfs. That's how it feels to me. In our group, some people seem to have control over everything, it feels to me sometimes like we've got a freaking tsar. Then there's the nobles, then the middle classes, then me. I dunno why that happens. Maybe I'm imagining it.
It sucks though.

Yeah, I've been doing the Russian Revolution in History, how could you tell??

Today's Quote: "Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none." -William Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well, act 1 scene 1)

Wellity Wellity Wellity

Hum. Here I is.

Yay! I'm playing the role of Katharina in Sheliah Winn. The Taming of the Shrew. I don't know much about the play itself, but I do know that Katharina is the main character. Woot. Miss Harris said to me that she picked that play as her third play so she could give me that role. Awesome!

Doing Commedia dell'Arte in Drama at the mo. It's reeeeaaallly fun!! I'm currently thinking that I'll pick Brighella as my character, cuz he seems so cool. I liked Il Dottore too but he's just not quite as cool as Brighella. Being the quick cunning schemer of the troupe sounds like fun!! :D

So um... what else is there to say?

Not a lot.

Today's Quote: "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." -Oscar Wilde

The Big Thing

Today was The Big Thing.

Everyone in my extended family, except one aunty who was sick, came over to our house for morning tea, then we went to the Quiet Woman for lunch. Then all back to chez nous for the cake. It was my nan's 80th birthday party, even though her birthday was in January - this was the best time for flights. The Deeds - Mum's sister, her husband and my two cousins, who I hadn't seen in like FIVE YEARS - came down from Auckland for the day, and my aunty, her partner, my cousin, and my cousin's dad came up from Christchurch for the day. It kinda sucked cuz they all had to leave at like 4pm for the airport, but they arrived at like 10am so they were here a while. It was soo much fun. Heaps of photos were taken, I know heaps will end up on Facebook.
My family are pretty great. There's a few real laughs. Great-Uncle Cole, Pop's brother, is an absolute crack-up, he's 82 but you'd think he was 20, he'd fit into our group of mates, I can imagine him making sick jokes like we do haha. Well, he does live in West Auckland and oh it was funny, everyone is all dressed up, then there's me in a t-shirt and sneakers, and Mum's exasperated at my lack of style, and Cole rocks up in jeans and a baggy t-shirt, looking scruffier than I did, and he comes to my defence.
So anyway, it was so great to see everyone again. God, how many people were there? Let me see...

Me, Aaron, Rachel, Joel, Mum, Dad, Nana, Poppa - all from Feilding
Aunty Mandy, Uncle Lance, Rebecca and Nathan (collectively known as the Deeds) - Auckland (Titirangi)
Aunty Mary, Cheryl, Steph, Uncle Jack (the Southerners) - Christchurch
Paul and Fleur - Auckland (out east, I think. Flash, I know that)
Geat-Uncle Cole - Auckland (as westie as can be)
Great-Uncle Des - Rotorua
Aunty Gemma and Uncle Adrian - Rangiotu

That's 22. Twelve of whom I hadly ever see. It's not a very big family, I know, but they're great.

So yeah, brilliant day. The Deeds and the Southerners went home but Paul and Fleur are staying in a b'n'b and Cole and Des are staying with Nan and Pop, and we're going to Nan's for lunch tomorrow. Then a roast dinner on Monday with Cole and Des.

So that's really all I have to say. Just blahing on about my family. :D

Today's Quote: "A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden." -Buddha

Short, And Unimportant

So, you wanted to know what I would title my biography?? Okay.

'I Was Not Thinking', by Jessica McLean.

YAY!! I got Surfer Rosa/Come On Pilgrim this afternoon and I am happyyyyyy!! Aaron came from checking the mail with a brown package in his hands I was like, 'could it be??' and it WAS!!

HAPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I need to get the DVD of Twist and then I will be uber-happy. But it's reaaaalllyyy hard to find, even on the net. How the hell did Video Ezy get a copy??

Today was boring. Swimming carnival was stupid, as always. I didn't have History because of stupid swimming carnival, which sucked because History is awesome.

My role in the production as a flower isn't so bad. Mr Edmonds is making us extras a bit more important. Yay.

Todays' Quote: "Never judge a book by its movie." -JW Eagan

I Have Nothing To Complain About...Almost...

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all came down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you

I love that song at the moment. Well, I've always loved it, but suddenly it just seems so much better. Dunno why. That's my favourite bit, I love those lyrics.

Um so anyway today I finally - FINALLY - got my iCard. Like an EFTPOS card, but it can be used online. So I can buy stuffs. First thing I did was order me a copy of Sufer Rosa, which (to my delight), came with the Come On Pilgrim EP. And it was 55% off - only $19.97. Awesomeness! Plus it was on 24-hour shipping. Yay!! So that made my day. Plus my English teacher told me that I should definately send my 1.5 essay in for a reconsideration. Her exact words were 'complain like hell'. I can do that :D

Huh. Reading other people's blogs make me feel so lucky. Like, my life is so cruisy, I really don't have anything to complain about, and some people have gone through some tough cuss and they complain less than I do. Thank God I don't have a hard time of it, because I'm pathetically weak. I'd probably shrivel up and die if everything suddenly turned to cuss. I mean, okay, sometimes it's hard with Aaron and Joel and their ASD but it really isn't that bad. Ugh, the one thing that does really piss me off (although that's not exctly the best way to describe it; I can't put my finger on the right phrase at the mo) is when Mum drinks heaps at night. And her smoking. On a typical night when Dad's working, at about 7.30pm one of Mum's friends from Auckland will ring up, and from then on here's the pattern: She pours a glass of wine, goes outside, has a smoke, comes inside, pours another glass, goes outside, has a smoke...etc, etc. And that goes on until about 11pm when she goes (loudly) to bed. Seriously, stumbling around, waking Joel up. And poor Joel, every night when either me or Dad go down to say goodnight to him, he says 'Tell Mum to come down!' and we do, except she's on the phone, drinking and smoking. So she doesn't come down, or if she does, it's between phone calls and she's all slurred. Sometimes she doesn't make it to bed. Sometimes I wake up at like 3am and I can hear the TV; I go downstairs and she's asleep on the couch, half-empty glass of wine on the cabinet shelf, TV still on. Drives me near goddamn insane. Worst thing is when I say I need something, more facewipes or a new book for school or something, and she goes on about how we can't afford it and we have to only buy neccessities, when how much does she spend on booze and fags a week?? That's just so irritating. It really does make me angry.

Well look at that. I complained.

That's all, really. Nothing else to say... Oh! But I wanna steal something from Rose, and Alex. So I know who reads this here bloggie...what would you call your autobiography?? COMMENT!! I command you.

Just do it. xD

Today's Quote: "All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous and bad." -William Penn

Me Complaining For the First Time

"Snail fiddling is not a career to be proud of."

Now that I've cleared that up, I actually have something serious to say. Okay, so I was watching Close Up, and they were talking about these Catcha Cray machines - like soft toy crane machines, but with LIVE CRAYFISH instead of soft toys. The creator of these machines was such an asshole. He was saying that they're not cruel, that SAFE are extremists, that crayfish don't feel pain. WHAT A DICKHEAD. I felt sorry for the SAFE rep for having to try and talk some sense into this retard. I bet he (the pro-crayfish cruetly dude) supports bear-baiting and bull fighting as well - he kept calling the crayfish catching machine 'a game', going on about how it was 'for entertainment'. Crayfish DO get stressed if they're handled too much, and that crane could rip their legs off! And how long are they left in that little plastic box? Until they're fished out and put in a plastic bag, taken home and cracked in half - all while still alive - by some stupid idiot after a night's drinking at the pub where the machine was located. SAFE (Save Animals From Exploitation) are awesome animal rights activists - not crazy radical extremists who are against pets - and they are totally right in this argument. I reckon that these machines treating live animals - maybe not cuddly cute animals, but still animals - as soft toys to be used in a game by drunk humans are totally unethical and WRONG. Plus, they actually are illegal:
"SAFE and the SPCA now believe these machines are in breach of the Animal Welfare Act 1999, which aims to ensure ‘physical handling [is done] in a manner which minimises the likelihood of unreasonable or unnecessary pain or distress'." (The SAFE website).
So, in short, I was pretty pissed off at the guy who invented them. Bastard.

Oh, one thing I never knew - lobsters and crayfish are the same thing?? According to the American woman in the story they are. Crazy.

Okay, second thing. I flicked over to TV3 after the crayfish piece, and saw an ad for swimming lessons. 'Learning to swim means learning to survive', it said. I can't swim AT ALL, and I'm never going to drown. How do I know this? I am not STUPID enough to jump in water that is too deep because I know of the dangers!! Knowing about water safety and awareness is different to being able to swim. That add pisses me off. And no, guys, it's not cuz it makes me feel inferior about not being able to swim (as my mother suggested).

Okay, last thing. On Campbell Live they had an experiment with a very talented violinist busking to see whether people could recognise musical beuty when they heard it. Turns out they couldn't. Now, that guy was obviously gifted - I'm not schooled in classical music by any means, but I could see that he was doing a great job with a classic piece on one of the most difficult instuments. I normally try to give money to buskers if they are good, because even though I have a select taste in music, and I'm not fond of, say, classical stuff, I can still appreciate when music is good (rap isn't music). My nan plays her Bach and Mozart and Beethoven (Beethoven's 9th Symphony!! She played that the other day and I was like 'OMG no! Alex's favourite!!' and she was like '...?' because she hasn't read/seen A Clockwork Orange haha) and I can understand that it's good. But obviously most people walking through Wellington Train Station couldn't. Which is sad.
Lol at the guitar-playing busker who went mental though. What a maroon.

So, yeah, those are the three things I saw while watching TV between 7pm and 7.30pm on Monday 8 February, 2010 that I had an opinion on. Hopefully I've given you something to ponder. But probably not.

Now, I've already done a quote of the day, because this is my third post today (although one post was just a story) but I have to write this to finish off my rant on animal rights:

Today's (Second) Quote: "We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words." -Anna Sewell (Black Beauty)

My Very Short Story (That Is Title-less)

The delighted screams of children, temporarily free from the chains of the classroom, reverberate through the air, creating a euphoric cacophony. The vivid colours of summer clothes flash in the sun as they dart through the jungle of bright metal bars. The platforms loom above their small statures, vaguely intimidating.
My friends and I perch in the wooden tunnel, suspended above the ground. We giggle and gossip as we finish our sandwiches. Then we leave the tunnel and make our way to one of the highest platforms and sit in a circle, eyes luminous with exhilaration. Our powerful imaginations transform the wooden planks into the salty decks of a pirate ship. It’s magic.
One by one, we shimmy back down the warm metal poles, and approach the most daunting part of the playground. The thick blue ropes strung between the two wooden poles fill me with fright. But today I’m determined to master the spider net.
I slowly start the long climb to the top. The movement of the other children scrambling up and down sways the net and I clutch tightly to the ropes. The height makes my palms sweat and my heart pound. It’s impossible.
Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.


Intermediate. High school. Return to primary. A sense of déjà vu as I feel the bark under my feet for the first time in an eternity. Silence.
It’s bizarre. The ladders, poles, and platforms have all shrunk, and they’ve faded as though someone has poured bleach over the playground. But it is the emptiness that troubles me. The complete and utter lack of any human presence makes this place feel wrong, like a lit stage without performers.
I wander over to the suspended wooden tunnel and peer in. I briefly consider climbing inside, but it’s far too narrow. Did four of us really used to perch in there quite happily?
I come to one of the highest platforms (now so small!) and clamber up. I can remember sailing the high seas on this platform, so long ago. I try to recapture those childhood fantasies. But I can’t. The magic died with the colour and the noise.
A sense of purpose suddenly strikes me. I never conquered the spider net. But now I’m back here and I can do it. A bittersweet, hollow victory – but better than nothing.
I can’t believe it. The net has disappeared. The two wooden poles stand there, rotting away near the top, unconnected by the thick blue ropes. No victory.
I leave the lonely, dead playground filled with a bizarre desire to cry. I feel ridiculously grown-up, more so than ever.
‘Forever young’. If only.

Sqound

Squound.

Squound.

Squound.

Squound.

Squound.

Squound.


...Don't ask.

Okay, I'll tell you. In Maths, I was sitting next to Keryn, and...something something something (I forget the middle but of the story)...anyway, it's a cross between 'round' and 'square'.
Oh, no, wait, we were in C Block.
And...something something something...
Still can't remember.

So...today was boring...

OH! Yesterday I accomplished something!! I wrote 2 and a half pages of my CM fic. I'm aiming for at least 4 and a half pages, so I'm on my way. Hooray!! I went to bed feeling happy.

Erm...I wrote this awhile ago, I just thought I'd put it here. Well, not HERE, put in a post that will be above this one, I guess, because it comes after...um, I dunno what I'm on about either. I'M GOING TO PUT A SHORT STORY IN ANOTHER POST, OKAY??

Right. Um...that's it, really. The Big Thing is on Saturday, I can't wait to see Steph again, it's been ages. And I haven't see my other cousins in FIVE YEARS. Looking foward to seeing Mary and Cheryl...everyone really, but mainly those five.

Where is...my soy latte?? No, where is my new card? From the bank. So I can buy stuff online with my own money. I want Surfer Rosa/Come On Pilgrim. It's like, 55% off on Fishpond.net. HURRY UP CARD!! Wing your way towards me from the depths of the post office mailbags...please?

Today's Quote: "To thine own self be true." -William Shakespeare (Hamlet, act 1, scene 3)

Awesome Things That Aren't What I Should Be Doing...

I promised myself that this weekend I would write the last part of my CM fic. But I haven't even started it. There are 28 people with the fic on alert, and that number has been growing steadily. I haven't updated since the week we got back from camp and it's starting to feel like I never will. I really should have learnt by now never to publish anything that isn't finished!! Oh well. I have three other fics that I have finished but haven't published and I'm just feeling very slack.

I've written some of my best stuff in bed in the morning just after waking up with a fully-formed idea, but that hasn't happened since I wrote Well Adjusted. This morning, rather than writing, I read two and a half scenes from Hamlet. Oh yes, very productive. I'd really like to do it for SWS this year, there's some great scenes, the one between Hamlet and his mother in particular could be good. But it's not really up to me.
After that nerdy period, I spent awhile lying on my bed just listening to U2. I have a large collection of their stuff, and as much as I love my alternative stuff, I just didn't feel like Pixies or Sonic Youth or Hole this morning. I mean, the first song that came up on my iPod today was 'Good Sister/Bad Sister' and as much as I love that song, I skipped it and ended up with 'One Tree Hill'. And I was just like, 'Oh yeah, that's how I feel today'. So I switched over to my CD player and just listened to one U2 CD after the other. You know, I only found out like three days ago that 'One Tree Hill' is actually about the One Tree Hill in Auckland. I thought there must be another One Tree Hill somewhere in Ireland or something. Anyway, now I have 'Shadows and Tall Trees' stuck in my head, but I'm not complaining because it's a great song.

I don't write this bloggie for your benefit, you know. You probably don't understand half of what I'm on about. And the other half bores you. Too bad. You want intersting? Okay then, here's something you may enjoy.

Random Fact: Turtles can breath through their butts. I dunno why they need to, but whatever.

Today's Quote: "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde.

"I'd Like To Whack The Academy Over The Head With A Mallet."

<< Haha!! This made me lol. I just thought I'd share it.

Man, it is far too hot. Bleurgh.

Spring Patisserie have the BEST cookies 'n' cream cheesecake. Om nom nom.

So, people care what I write here. Well, I assume they do as people have subscribed to this here bloggie. I think I'll use this a a dumping ground for stuff that I write, and maybe occasionally I'll share something intelligent with you. I know that people expect me to complain about things, but I honestly don't have much (in my own life) to complain about. Seriously, my life is pretty cruisy. Well, maybe around March when all of my French class excpet me and a girl I don't like much jet-set off to France, maybe then I'll be complaining. It does suck when your family don't have a lot of spare cash. But no, my life is pretty good.

But I guess if you're as apathetic about things as I am, everything's pretty good. The only thing I really care about is my schoolwork, as sad as theat may be. That and my friends. Cuz I'd be pretty miserable if I didn't have such rad buddies.

Wow. I haven't listened to the radio in like two months. I haven't heard any new songs in a while. I guess it's a bit stupid to listen pretty much exclusively to old stuff. But let's face it, mysic nowadays is pretty bad. Until hip-hop/rap music dies the death it deserves, or at least fades away into specialist radio stations, modern music will stay pretty terrible. Especially when stuff is labelled as rock when it definately isn't just so the radio staions fill their quota. At least some bands are still banging away and achieving as much success as they can in an industry dominated by crap.

Why has Avatar been noninated for a Best Picture Oscar?? It absolutely does not deserve it. Sure, it's visuals are amazing, but that's why they have a category for Best Visual Effects. Frankly, its story is nothing more than average. Films nominted for the Best Pic award should have substantial, meaty stories that can affect people emotionally. If Avatar wins, it will just show how much damage films with big budgets and flash computer work have done to the chances of films with intelligent, meaningful screenplays and well-thought-out cinematography. As for James Cameron's complaining about how his actors weren't nominated for Oscars because of the fact that it was motion-capture? Dude! They didn't deserve nominations anyway! The acting wasn't anything special. I mean, how powerful can you be when wearing a giant camera-helmet? How can a 10-foot-tall blue alien have the same emotional ranges as a real actor up on screen? I'm not dissing the actors. Maybe if they had decent matarial to work with, they'd have given better performances.

Thank God Avatar wasn't nominated for a screenplay award, that's all I can say.

Fantastic Mr. Fox deserves the Best Animated Movie award. But Up will win. I mean, that's nominated for Best Pic. It's a great film, just not as good as Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Okay, movie rant over.

Today's Quote: "It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it." -Andy Warhol

A Blog

This...is...my...blog.

Which I won't write on just yet...

Because I want to go watch -

Oh, no, wait, Glee is on in 20 minutes...

And SoA is 40 minutes...

That means that I shall not watch SoA...

I shall type up that story that I have several people waiting on...

Because that's how skilled I am...

Fanfiction.net makes me feel special.

That is all.

PS. I like ellipses.

PPS. ...

PPS. ... ...

PMS.

...

Oh, wait, no, none of that, thanks.